To Love You Painfully
by Nachan0928
Summary: Uruha confessed his feeling to Reita, his childhood friend, on their graduation day. In the other side, there was Aoi who interested in Uruha. What was Reita’s answer? And how about Aoi?
1. Chapter 1

**Title: **To Love YouPainfully(1/??)

**Author: **Kawaii_nachan

**Rating: **NC-17

**Genre: **Romance, angst, SMUT

**Warnings: **Male x Male relationship, super bad English.

**Pairing(s): **Aoi x Uruha (mentioning a little Reita x Uruha)

**Band(s):** the GazettE

**Disclaimer: **Oh well, I've locked them in the cage unfortunately I don't own those beautiful boys, just the story... (TT w TT) *sob... sob...*

**Summary: **Uruha confessed his feeling to Reita, his childhood friend, on their graduation day. In the other side, there was Aoi who interested in Uruha. What was Reita's answer? And how about Aoi?

***~*To Love You Painfully*~***

_'Reita-kun ga daisuki desu yo…'_

That was what Reita heard_-if he was not mistaken-_from Uruha, his best friend since childhood. Uruha had confessed his feeling for Reita on the day of their Senior High graduation, at the rooftop. Nevertheless, Reita kept recalling those words in his mind up until a month later. That time, he answered his friend's confession by saying, _'Gomen na, Uruha-chan. I'm… Straight, so I can't accept your feeling. I'm just seeing you as my best friend, no more…'_. Even Reita still remembered of how Uruha's face looked like after he said that to him.

He was very sad, indeed. But, he didn't say anything to make Reita changing his mind. He was just smiling though Reita knew it was a fake smile, or more correctly, a painful smile. He seemed anywhere near enough to cry, and then he said, _'Un. Daijoubu Reita-kun, I just want to tell you about my feeling. You don't have to accept me. But please… Let me still be your friend after this'_. Thereafter, he turned back, went off to the downstairs slowly and disappeared from Reita's sight.

That was all the things Reita could remember. He sighed, "I probably hurt his feeling too much, and he doesn't give me any call up until now". Suddenly he felt his _keitai_ vibrated and he thought that it could be Uruha, so he brought it out quickly of his jeans pocket. "_Moshi-moshi. _Reita_ desu_", he said.

'_Ah, Reita-kun! It's me Aoi'_

'_Aoi-kun, what's up?'_

'_Do you have time this afternoon? If you do, then how about we meet at our usual place??'_

'_Yeah, sure. By the way, is there any problem with you? Want to talk something important??'_

'_Hee~ do I need to have some problem if I want to chat with you? Come on, when was the last time we hanging out together, Reita-kun?'_

'_Aa. Wakatteru yo._ _I don't mean that, just asking, you know…'_

After they did some chitchat Reita ended the call, though he felt a bit disappointed because that wasn't Uruha who called him. _Okay, drink some beers won't kill me, right?_ He thought. (**Author**: so it means, you often drink beer before? Aw, you're still underage, Reita…)

_~At the promised place~_

Reita walked into the café, he was searching for Aoi's existence. He then saw the said man raised his hand to give him a sign. Reita apparently walked to Aoi, who sat on the corner. "Hi Reita-san! Long time no see…", Aoi greeted. "Hi. I'm not late, am I?", Reita asked. "No, you're not", Aoi answered as he shook his head a little. Reita pulled the chair and sat. "Hey, you look so bored, what happened?", Aoi began the conversation. "Well, there's something that disturbs my mind lately…", Reita responded.

"Hmm, I rarely find you have a problem. What's that? Maybe I can help, who knows", Aoi said. "…_Eto_, I had been confessed by someone", Reita spoke up. "Then you should be happy, right!? Is she beautiful?", Aoi was full of curiosity. "…….", Reita didn't answer. "Re-i-ta-kun?", Aoi spelt his friend's name to wake him up from his long thought. "Eh? Well… HE is beautiful, his face and figure is just like a woman", Reita finally answered. Hearing Reita said that made Aoi gasping.

"_Nani?_ What do you mean??", Aoi asked as he raised an eyebrow. "Before I tell you, please keep this as a secret between us, okay?", Reita stared at Aoi seriously. "Okay, you can trust me, Reita-kun", Aoi gave a certain answer. Reita looked at him for few seconds, "So, that's as you heard it. A man had confessed me. And that was Uruha, my best friend", he said.

"Uruha? Oh, that childhood friend of yours?", Aoi crossed his arms in front of his chest and leaned on his chair. Reita only nodded. "You often talk about him when we were hanging out, but I'm a bit surprised that he's gay", Aoi wrinkled his eyebrows. "Uh, I'm way more surprised! I mean, how come I didn't know that he's… you know... And we've become friends for almost six years!", Reita seemed bursting his feeling out. "What do you think, Aoi-san?", he added.

"Just give him to me…", Aoi said.

"What did you just say?", Reita doubted what he had heard just now.

"Well, Reita-kun, since you're not interested in him, it's okay if I make a move on him, isn't it?", Aoi asked. Reita's eyes widened, "Err, well, you're right, I'm not interested in him, but…", Reita seemed quite confused. "Come on, tell me what he look is like? I'm kind of curious…", Aoi grinned. Reita knew that Aoi was gay, and so he never discriminated him. He treated Aoi well, just like his other_-straight-_friends, without any differences. "Let me think… He's about the same height as a girl (**Author**: _gomen ne_ uruha, I have to change about your height! XD), has a pretty face, his skin is white and smooth, I think. And he has a honey-blond hair…", Reita tried to describe well as he rubbed his chin. "Whoa~ in my mind, he must be looking so damn _kawaii~!_", Aoi looked so amazed.

"_Ka-kawaii?_ Oh, maybe…", Reita forced a smile.

"I want to meet him. Can you introduce him to me?", Aoi asked. "Eh? _Nani??_", Reita looked surprised. "Yes, I want to meet him, can I?", Aoi asked again. "Um, yes you can. But I will ask him first in case he has another plan, since now's holiday…", Reita answered. "Okay, I'll wait for your confirmation!", Aoi said happily. "Let's order some drinks, then!", he added.

After waited for some minutes, their drinks came. "Say Reita-kun, what will you do now? I mean, you've graduated, so do you want to continue to college?", Aoi started a new conversation. "Hmm, I don't know… I haven't think about it, yet", Reita said as he drank a tin of beer. "You haven't think about it!? Oh Gosh…", Aoi said in disbelief. "You must think about it even from before your graduation, when you were in 12th grade!", he added.

"Ahhahaha. You're right, but I think I don't want to continue with my study", Reita laughed. "Huh? So you want to just work now??", Aoi questioned. Reita nodded in agreement. "Good luck, wish you find a nice job and a sexy girlfriend! Hahaha", Aoi chuckled, he gave Reita two thumbs up. Reita smacked Aoi's head playfully as he smiled hearing that. "How about you, Aoi-kun?", Reita asked. "_Boku? _I won't continue with my study either", Aoi said. "I hope I can get a job which has the same place with you…", he added. "I hope so…", Reita said. Thereinafter, they continued with their chitchat until the clock read 8.00 p.m.

"_Jaa na_ Reita-kun, and don't forget to tell Uruha…", Aoi said as he waved his hand to Reita, who was about to get on his motorcycle. Reita turned his head to Aoi and waved back, "_Hai. Jaa na…_", he answered. They both returned home. Reita didn't seem focus on his ride, fortunately he was able to reach home safely. After he arrived in front of his house, he got quite surprised to see who was standing in front of the gate. There was Uruha, who wore a purple T-shirt and black jeans.

"Eh? Uruha-chan??", Reita's mouth gaped open. "Hi Reita-kun", Uruha smiled. "Umm, what are you doing here at this time?", Reita questioned, he looked didn't know what to say. "Oh, I just want to see you… can I?", Uruha bit his lips. Without Reita noticed it, he thought that Uruha looks so cute that time, as Aoi had said. He even blushed up until his ears. "Reita-kun, _daijoubu ka?_ Your face is red!", Uruha approached Reita quickly, he looked very worried.

"No…", Reita answered softly. Uruha became more worried. "Eh? I mean, I'm okay! Don't worry, Uruha-chan!!", Reita clarified his words, made sure Uruha didn't go panic. Uruha sighed in satisfaction, "God, you made me worried Reita-kun!", he said. "_Gomen…_ By the way, do you want to take a walk? It has been a long time since the last time we walked together along the way home from school", Reita offered. "Or do you want to get into my house? Okaa-san sure will greet you happily", he added. "_Iie,_ I think I'll be going home now. Didn't I say before that I just want to see you?", Uruha responded. "Huh? You want to go home now?? Okay. I'll walk you home", Reita said as he turned on his motorcycle's engine.

"Reita-kun, I'm not like the old days! I can go home by myself now. Besides, I'm not a girl!!", Uruha pouted his lips. Reita realized it; he looked at the pouting Uruha. "I don't mean that, I-I just want to make sure you…", Reita cut his words. Uruha was staring at him seriously. "_Nani?_ You just want what??", he asked. Reita shook his head immediately. "_Nanimonai_. Just forget about it!", he said nervously. Uruha raised one of his fine eyebrows. "Whatever, well, if you want to walk me home, then I think it's okay…", he rolled his eyes. "_Ikou~_", Reita shouted. "Geez, you still like when you were an elementary schooler!", Uruha laughed. So nice Reita wanted to… kiss him.

They walked together. Both kept silent, Reita really didn't know what he must say at a time like that. "Mmm, Uruha-chan, _Gomen ne~_", Reita suddenly said, making Uruha stopped his step. "What are you apologizing for?", he looked at Reita confusedly. "For rejected you that time", Reita muttered. Uruha's eyes widened, "…Reita-kun, I didn't force you to accept me, did I?", the blonde asked. "But…", Uruha cut Reita's words by placing his forefinger in front of Reita's lips. "Sssh, just forget about it. _Onegai~_", Uruha pleased. Now Reita felt even guiltier because he made Uruha remembering that event.

"By the way Uruha-chan, what do you do during the holidays?", Reita tried to change the subject. "Eh? I think I'll do nothing, just spending my holidays in my room, browse the internet, or something to kill the time… what about you?", Uruha asked curiously. "_Eto_, I don't know what to do. Maybe, looking for a job…", Reita said. Uruha gasped. "You want to work already? You don't want to go to college??", he looked in disbelief. "Yeah. I want to help my mom; you know that my dad had passed away. Therefore, I decided to work after I graduated. Even I already sent my job application form to one company two days ago…", Reita explained. Uruha just hummed. "So, you want to go to college?", Reita questioned. "…I think so. My parents probably won't allow me to work for now", Uruha answered.

"Ah, I almost forget! Since you have nothing to do in the holidays, what about if we go to somewhere? There's someone I want to introduce to you. He's a friend of mine", Reita shot.

"Mmm, I don't mind. When? And who's that person??", Uruha replied, he seemed full of curiosity. "How about the day after tomorrow at 3.00 p.m.? Because I'm going to my grandma's house tomorrow. Come on, you'll know that person when we meet him! Be patient, Uruha-chan", Reita teased as he giggled. "Okay, okay. I'll wait!", Uruha nodded. "_Nee~_ We've arrived. Thanks for walking me home, Reita-kun…", he thanked Reita. "Oh, I don't realize it. Hahaha. Okay, I'll be back home now. _Jaa…_", Reita said as he turned back. "_Jaa._ _Ki o tsukete_!", Uruha shouted. On the way, Reita dialed Aoi's number. After he heard Aoi's voice on the phone, he spoke. "Ah, this is Reita. _Gomen_ to disturb you this late…".

'_It's never mind. What's up?'_

'_About Uruha, I already asked him and he said he can'_

'_That's great, Reita-kun! Arigatou!!'_

'_No problem. That's what a friend is for'_

'_By the way, when's the time?'_

'_Oh, we'll meet at our usual place the day after tomorrow, at 3.00 p.m. Is it okay with you, Aoi-kun?'_

'_Yeah, it's okay. Absolutely!'_

'_Osh. That's all. See you…'_

'_Okay, see you'_

_~The day after tomorrow~_

"What a nice place!", Uruha said as he looked around inside the café. "How did you know about such place?", he added. "Hahaha. When I was walking around here with my friend that I'm going to tell you later, to buy something, I found this place", Reita answered. "And so, why you never bring me here!? You're so cruel…", Uruha smacked Reita's shoulder gently. "Aw, _gomen na_… but at least I bring you here now!", Reita grinned widely. Uruha roared, making Reita laughed. "_Eto,_ what are you two doing here exactly?", Uruha asked. "We occasionally meet here to spend the time", Reita said. Uruha mouthed _'O'_.

"Nah, where's that friend of yours, Reita-kun?", Uruha questioned as he lifted his head to see clearly. Reita searched for Aoi's sign, 'Ah! There's him!!", Reita pointed at the corner's direction. Uruha saw Aoi for the first time; however, he didn't feel anything towards Aoi. "Hi Aoi-kun!", Reita greeted. Aoi looked up at him and Uruha, "Hi guys!", he greeted back. "What are you waiting for? Just sit", he added. Reita pulled the chairs and sat, so did Uruha. He sat next to Reita, in front of Aoi.

"Okay Aoi-kun, this is Uruha. And Uruha-chan, this is Aoi, the person I want you to meet…", Reita introduced well. "H-Hi Uruha-san", Aoi said nervously as he bowed his head a little, his heart beat even faster. Uruha showed his best smile, he bowed a bit too. "Hi Aoi-san", he replied. Reita saw Aoi's expression; he looked so interested, indeed. They were drinking much, chatting so happily and even laughing to death over something ridiculous. Aoi and Uruha instantly became friends, good friends. Somehow, Reita felt a bit jealous over Aoi, but he didn't know what was the reason, he just tried so hard to ignore his own feeling.

"_Anou_, I think I'll go to bathroom", Reita made an excuse, he couldn't take it anymore, he wanted to pee because he thought that he had drunk too much. "Okay", said Aoi while Uruha just nodded. Not long after Reita disappeared from their sight, Aoi started a conversation. "I know it…", he suddenly said. It made Uruha turned at his direction and asked, "Huh? You know what??", he raised an eyebrow.

"I know that you love Reita-kun", Aoi murmured.

Uruha gasped, "H-how did you know?", but Aoi didn't answer, he looked to another side. "Please Aoi-san, did he tell you that…??", Uruha went panic. The taller man finally gave an answer; he shook his head, "Nope. Just from the way you look at him, it obviously shows your feeling towards him…", he explained. "Plus, other people might know too", he added.

Uruha wrinkled his eyebrows, "_Hontou?_", he asked, half afraid to hear Aoi's answer. Aoi shrugged in agreement, "Well, that's only my opinion. But it seems my words have stabbed your heart, are they not?", he smirked, teasing Uruha purposely. "…do you feel disgusted at me?", Uruha responded. "You know… I'm gay", he added. "_Iie_, definitely not. Do you want to know why?", Aoi asked back. Uruha stared at him curiously. "Why, Aoi-san?", he said. "Because I'm gay as well", Aoi answered. That answer made Uruha's mouth gaped open; he then covered it with his one hand. "Are you serious?", he questioned. "Yes", Aoi said clearly, no doubt.

While Uruha kept thinking about Aoi's words, Aoi took it as a chance to send Reita a message. _'Reita-kun, could you leave us two now? I'm trying to make a move on Uru-chan…'_, message sent. Reita received it a second later, when he was about to come back to them.

_Nani?_ _He already calls Uruha-chan that way… so it means they've become closer now. Aoi sure made a fast move… _he thought.

Suddenly his _keitai_ vibrated, he got a call. "_Moshi-moshi_. Oh, Ruki-kun. What's up?", he answered. After some minutes, he was talking on the phone with Ruki_-his friend-_who helped him with the job vacancy, he ended the call. "Oh man, I have to go now!", Reita said to himself. It seemed that his job application form rang a bell, so he had to come to the said place to confirm about it.

He wasted no time to reply Aoi. He typed it quickly. _'Okay. You ask it just in the right time. I've got to hurry now, so I'll be going back. Tell Uruha about that. Good luck!'_, was Reita's reply. Aoi got the answer, he felt very happy. "_Eto_, Reita-kun is so long. What is he doing there in the bathroom?", Uruha finally realized. "Oh, maybe he won't back here. He just sent me a message that he has to go. Even it seems he got to hurry", Aoi replied. "Eh? He said that?? But why he didn't tell me…?", Uruha pouted.

"Come on Uruha-san, just let him go. We'll have fun here…", Aoi said as he flickered his fingers, meant to call the waitress. He ordered more beers. Uruha only sighed in annoyance, but he couldn't help but did as Aoi said. They spent the time by drinking beers; Uruha sounded didn't care about himself anymore. He just wanted to forget his painful memory, when Reita rejected him. It wasn't like he didn't like Reita anymore, but he wanted to erase that memory. Only that memory. And hoped that was just a nightmare.

**~End of Chapter 1~**

**Note: **wew, another series beside that despa trilogy. I'm just in the mood to make a longer story with few chapters. Hahaha. XD

Comment will be much appreciated. Sankyuu~

10


	2. Chapter 2

**Title: **To Love You Painfully (2/??)

**Author: **Kawaii_nachan

**Rating: **NC-17

**Genre: **Romance, angst, SMUT

**Warnings: **Male x Male relationship, super bad English.

**Pairing(s): **Aoi x Uruha (mentioning a little Reita x Uruha)

**Band(s):** the GazettE

**Disclaimer: **Oh well, -I've locked them in the cage-unfortunately I don't own those beautiful boys, just the story... (TT w TT) *sob... sob...*

**Summary: **Uruha confessed his feeling to Reita, his childhood friend, on their graduation day. In the other side, there was Aoi who interested in Uruha. What was Reita's answer? And how about Aoi?

**Chapter 2**

Aoi saw Uruha getting drunk, and he could smell a chance. Therefore, he took an advantage of the drunken Uruha, who had completely lost a half of his consciousness. Aoi just couldn't hold back of his desire any longer. He decided to bring Uruha to his apartment. "_Nee~_ Uru-chan, you looks cuter when you're so obedient like this…", Aoi muttered.

He called for a taxi since he couldn't just dragging Uruha until his apartment. Soon, they arrived at Aoi's place. After he unlocked the door, he carried Uruha in the bridal-style to his bedroom. "Mmh… Aoi-san?", Uruha spoke lowly Aoi couldn't hear it. Aoi put Uruha's body onto the fluffy warm bed. He then looked at every inches of the blode's nice body as he unbuttoned its shirt slowly.

"Damn! He's so frigging hot!!", Aoi cursed loudly.

He continued with undoing Uruha's tight trouser and pulling it off Uruha's legs. Aoi felt his erection grew harder_-and bigger-_, so he quickly unbuckled his belt and unzipped the jeans. "Uru-chan…", Aoi murmured as he pulled Uruha's head gently closer to his, he nibbled and bit Uruha's exposed neck, making Uruha moaned slightly. "Aahhn…". It just made Aoi wanted to do him as soon as possible.

"You like that, Uru-chan?", he then suckled Uruha's earlobe. Uruha opened his eyes a little, but he felt his head was too heavy and his body was too weak to at least push Aoi's body a bit. "Say Uru-chan, what style do you want? From behind? Or right before your beautiful eyes??", Aoi whispered in a lustful tone.

"I think… from behind…", Uruha answered abruptly.

"Wow, nice answer… I didn't even imagine that you would answer my question…", Aoi leaned his face closer to Uruha's and lifted its chin, he then kissed him. He shoved his tongue into Uruha's warm cavern and reaching all the way inside. Uruha was feeling what he never felt before. He thought it felt so damn good as he sucked Aoi's lower lips and bit it.

"Mmhh… nnhh…", both of Aoi and Uruha were enjoying their hot and wet kiss. Aoi felt hornier, he started stroking his aching cock. Even the tip was dripping wet. They kept kissing, Uruha pulled Aoi's head to deepen the kiss, and meanwhile Aoi's hand seemed very busy, stroking Uruha's erection and his altogether.

Aoi helped Uruha to turn his body back. "I'm going to put it in… get ready Uru-chan!", he said as he positioned himself behind Uruha and started to draw his cock closer to Uruha's entrance. Uruha bit his lips hardly and gripped the bed-sheet as he felt Aoi pushed in. Finally, Aoi thrust his member into Uruha. He had penetrated Uruha roughly and he didn't even care to prepare him before. "Ahh… aahh… _ittai…_", Uruha moaned painfully. Aoi continued to go deeper until he went all the way in, he then moved his hips, thrusting into Uruha, making the said man moaning loudly. But Aoi felt something dripping out of Uruha's tight hole, so he quickly pulled out.

"Is this your first time? Or am I too rough on you??", he asked as he saw the fresh thick blood running down Uruha's smooth thighs, stained the bed-sheet, even coated Aoi's cock a little. "Just continue…", Uruha tried to resist the pain. Aoi inserted his cock into his ass again. "Aahh… it is… my first time… nnghh", Uruha moaned. Aoi became more passionate, he was going in and out easily since Uruha's blood used to be the lube and made it slippery enough. "Haahh... Aoi-kun, not so hard…", he begged.

Meanwhile, Reita was on his way back home, "Whoa, it has been so late… That Ruki-kun, he shouldn't have pushed me to celebrate it! *sigh*", he said as he looked at his watch, it was 10.30 p.m. He kept walking, only 500 meters left before he could reach his home, but suddenly he felt his _keitai_ vibrating inside his jeans pocket, he picked it up immediately. "_Moshi-moshi._ Reita _desu_", he said.

'_Akira! It's okaa-san!!'_

'_Ah, okaa-san. What's the matter? Your voice sounds panic??'_

'_Akira, is Shima-kun with you right now?'_

'_Eh? Shima?? He hasn't come back, yet!? I'm not with him right now, but I was'_

'_Oh sou… his mother just called and asked if her son was at our house or not, because Shima-kun didn't answer the call…'_

'_Mmm, this afternoon we went to the café with my other friend, Aoi. Two hours later, I had to go because I got a call. But I thought he already went home…'_

'_Maybe he's still with your friend. Ask him!'_

'_Okay, I'll call you later, okaa-san'_

Reita ended the call, he then turned back. He was looking around as if he could have found them amongst the crowded street. He tried to call Uruha, but it was only the operator who answered him. "Shit! Where on earth are that two guys now!?", he cursed, not so loud for people around him to hear. He then dialed Aoi's number, lucky for him, Aoi answered.

"Hey Aoi-kun, is Uruha-chan with you now?", he asked. But he heard something unexpected he didn't want to believe as an answer. A lot of moans. Painful moans, yet so lustful. Even it was similar to Uruha's voice. Reita gasped as he quickly registered what was happening that time; they were in the middle of having sex.

'_Aoi-kun…?'_

'_Nnhh… Re-reita-kun. What's up?'_

'_Is… *gulp* Uruha-chan with you now?'_

'_Yesss… He's with me now…'_

'_Oh sou…'_

'_Reita-kun, could you call me again later…? Haahh…'_

'_Eh, gomen na, I don't mean to disturb you two… see you!'_

Reita quickly ended the call, his hands were trembling lightly. His heart pounded so hard it could jump out of his body. He just heard something… he didn't know how to describe. He was so confused; his face blushed so red as if he just was slapped by someone. Nevertheless, the worst was, he had a turned-on! He was still surrounded by many people, how come he got hard!? Reita didn't want to think about it much, he directly went home, as fast as he could, before other people realized his _condition._

After this night, Reita didn't see Uruha again, he only heard from his mother that Uruha got sick, though not so serious. Reita was really worried about his best friend, and he finally could see him again the following day. As the clock read 10 a.m., he decided to come to Uruha's place; he wanted to know Uruha's condition.

When Reita came out of his house's front gate, he saw Aoi was standing there, he seemed had been waiting for him. "Aoi-kun? What are doing here?? Come in…", he asked Aoi to go into his house, but Aoi refused. "Thanks, but I can't. I just want to ask you something", he said. Reita thought a moment, "Hmm, what's this about?", he replied as he closed the gate. "Well, about Uruha. I want to ask you where is his address", Aoi said. "You want to come to his house?", Reita asked back, he approached Aoi. "Yup", Aoi nodded.

"Oh, so you now already became his lover? But you don't know where does he live!?", Reita's eyes widened in surprise. Hearing that made Aoi laughing. "Take it easy, that night when I wanted to take him home, he refused and preferred to call a taxi instead, so I didn't know his house… Now, bring me there, will you?", Aoi elbowed Reita playfully. "_Aa_. Fine. I will show you the way. I'm about to go to his house too, so you come just in the right time. Let's go", Reita smiled, he then led Aoi the way as they began to chitchat.

"You won't believe it! Uru-chan was so cute that night!!", Aoi made a new conversation. Reita only hummed as his answer, he felt quite unhappy to hear that. "_Gomen_ if I disturbed you two that night, I didn't know that you were… doing that", he spoke. "_Daijoubu desu yo_", Aoi said as he pat Reita's shoulder twice

Twenty minutes had passed; they finally arrived in front of Uruha's luxurious house. "Whoa~ his house is really big! He's extremely rich, isn't he?", Aoi looked so amazed when he saw his boyfriend's house for the very first time. Reita took a glance on him. "As you see, yes he's very rich. That was why he used to be bullied by other kids when were in the elementary school. Beside his girl-looks-like face and body, everyone felt very jealous with his richness. And so, as his best friend, I always protected him back then", Reita smiled.

"Such a good friend! You're like his guardian, right? Always stayed by his side…", Aoi chuckled. "Yeah, guardian or whatever you call it…", Reita rolled his eyes. "No wonder he loves you, who had been always protecting him", Aoi stared deeply at Reita, sounded he felt a bit jealous. "……", Reita couldn't reply him, he didn't know what was he supposed to say. Aoi's words were right. "_Eto,_ I'll ring the bell now", Reita said. "No. I'll call him through his cell phone instead", Aoi replied. "_Sou ka…_", Reita murmured.

'_Moshi-moshi… *cough*'_

'_Uru-chan honey, it's me, Aoi'_

'_Aoi-kun… *cough* what's up?'_

'_I'm in front of your house now'_

'_Hontou? *cough* you should come in, then… *cough*'_

'_Okay. Mmm, You sound so bad. Is your fever that worse?'_

'_Not really. *cough* But I think I'll be fine soon'_

'_I'm glad to hear that. By the way, I'm with Reita-kun'_

'_Oh, Reita-kun? *cough* It's good to see him'_

'_Yeah… I'll go inside now, jaa na…'_

Aoi ended the call. "Poor Uruha-chan, he seems got a very bad fever, am I right?", Reita made a worry face. "Yes. His voice is so weak…", Aoi answered. "He's sick now, since that night. I'm very worried about him… You didn't do anything dangerous to him, did you Aoi-kun?", Reita turned his head to Aoi, he seriously questioned him. "…Maybe this is my fault, because I was too rough on him… but I didn't think that he would get sick after it. Well, that was his first time after all, I can understand", Aoi told, gaining shocked_-and a little red-_face from Reita. "Huh?", Reita wrinkled his eyebrows, "Could you repeat what you just said?", he added. "Well, I made him bleeding that time and maybe he couldn't bear it since that was his first time", Aoi explained.

Reita felt anger had built up inside his body, he suddenly punched Aoi's left cheek, and so hard Aoi fell onto the ground. "YOU BASTARD!", he shouted. "HEY, CHILL OUT, DUDE!", Aoi shouted back. "What's your problem!?", he added. "What did you do to him!? Why did you do that to him!?", Reita gave Aoi a deadly glare, he had lost his temper and self-control. "What I did to him has nothing to do with you! You hear me!? You're no one to him! I'M HIS LOVER!!", Aoi yelled. "You… I swear I will~", Reita's words were cut by Aoi's voice. "You will what? Kill me?? Don't think that you're his best friend so you can do anything you want! Fuck!!".

Without those two men noticing, Uruha's house's front gate was being opened. And there, Uruha came out from it. "ENOUGH YOU TWO!", he shouted. "What the hell are you two doing!? Fighting in front of somebody else's house!?", he was panting, tried to normalize his breath. Both of Reita and Aoi turned their heads to Uruha's direction. "Uruha-chan… you're sick now. Come back into your room…", Reita quickly approached him, he helped Uruha to stand properly. "How could I get rest when you two yelling so loud in front of my house!!", Uruha answered between his coughs.

"So, you heard it, honey?", Aoi asked. "OF COURSE! You two were being too loud!!", the blonde yelled, he then coughed. "_Gomen na_, Uruha-chan. I can't control myself…", Reita apologized. "I'm a bit surprised you still care about me, Reita-kun", Uruha said. "Huh? Of course! You're my precious friend after all!", Reita replied, he seemed shocked at Uruha's words. "Why did you say that?", he questioned, he felt very confused. "Why did I say that? I said that because you left me that night, with Aoi-kun, you didn't care about me anymore, right!?", Uruha replied.

Reita's mouth parted. His eyes stared blankly at Uruha. "I didn't mean to leave you… really, I'm very sorry", he whispered. "You liar!! Get away from me!!", Uruha then pushed Reita's body away. Because he was sick, he didn't have enough power to stand for a long time, he kneeled down. "Uruha-chan…", Reita was about to carry Uruha when Aoi immediately approached him and slapped his hand. "You don't have to do that. I'll be the one who carry him in", Aoi said, he then helped Uruha to stand up.

"You just show your pity on him, because you rejected him, aren't you?", he asked with an unpleasant tone. "How dare you say that!", Reita responded. "I bet the truth is you don't even want to see him again. But because you feel pity on him, you come here", Aoi shot. "_Nani?_ Aoi-kun, I can't believe you say that about me!", Reita put his hand on his forehead and closed his eyes, he couldn't think clearly. "You should go home, Reita-kun… I'm with Aoi-kun now, so everything would be just fine", Uruha suggested. Reita looked at him in disbelief, "Oh… Congratulation, then. You finally got a BOYFRIEND who cares so much about you!", he said, he tried to be calm, but his heart kept beating faster than usual. He could see Uruha's pale face looked so… what was that… disappointed.

Uruha bit his lips, "…Reita-kun, about me and Aoi-kun… we~", he was unable to continue his words as he realized that Aoi stared at him with a pleased look on his eyes. "Uruha-chan, we really are lovers now, aren't we?", Aoi asked. Uruha stared back at Aoi's eyes for a second, he then gulped, "…Yes, we are", Uruha answered. "I see. You two don't have to show your lovey-dovey act in front of me! I'm sick of it!!", Reita said. "You two just go fucking around and die! Shit!!", Reita cursed.

"Don't worry Shima, I won't see your face again. All you have to do is being taken a good care by him, your beloved boyfriend!", Reita said as he pointed at Aoi, he even used Uruha's real name to call him; it meant he really was angry with him. He just called Uruha with his real name if they were fighting or something. Uruha quieted for some moment. "_Naze desu?_ You're the one I love, but why did you…?", Uruha said in a shaky tone and teary eyes. Aoi quickly looked at him; he was a bit surprised at Uuha's words. "But I don't have any feeling for you and as Aoi said, it has nothing to do with me, whom you dating now or who's your lover now…", Reita said clearly. "I DON'T CARE!", he added.

"_Sayounara…_", Reita whispered.

After said those words, Reita preferred to leave Uruha's place. He just turned his body around and kept walking away without caring about Uruha who was sobbing. Reita had completely lost his mind. He had said something terrible to his dear, childhood friend. He thought that Uruha must be hate him now. He felt a pain in his heart, it really hurt. Not long after that, the rain came down, wetting everything. People around him just stared at him strangely, because he didn't use anything to hide his body from the rain. He didn't care about anything at all, whether he would get sick or even die. But, one thing for sure, no one noticed that he was crying, the rain made it difficult to be seen. Reita himself didn't know why he cried, why he felt such pain in his heart. Did he start to love Uruha?

**~End of Chapter 2~**

**Note: **Comment will be much appreciated. Sankyuu~


	3. Chapter 3

**Title: **To Love You Painfully (3/??)

**Author: **Kawaii_nachan

**Rating: **NC-17

**Genre: **Romance, angst, SMUT

**Warnings: **Male x Male relationship, super bad English.

**Pairing(s): **Aoi x Uruha, Reita x Ruki

**Band(s):** the GazettE

**Disclaimer: **Oh well, I've locked them in the cage unfortunately I don't own those beautiful boys, just the story... (TT w TT) *sob... sob...*

**Summary: **Uruha confessed his feeling to Reita, his childhood friend, on their graduation day. In the other side, there was Aoi who interested in Uruha. What was Reita's answer? And how about Aoi?

**Chapter 3**

Reita didn't know where to go. He felt that his legs kept walking on its own. He was very tired of crying, until it seemed he had reached the last drop. Soon, he arrived at the park, where it used to be the usual place Uruha and him playing together when they were still kids.

They were very happy back then. Never felt sad and always laughing happily. Reita was looking far away into the distance. He entered the park; he didn't do anything, only stood there under the hard rain. All he could do was asking to himself.

"…What's this feeling? I just can't forget… him. Why?? WHY!?", he screamed out loudly.

Both his hands seized tightly a handful of his hair on the each side of his head, he fell down, kneeled. He was sobbing. Suddenly, all memories of his childhood came out of his mind and he remembered something, something that made him harder to forget Uruha.

_~Flashback~_

"_Kyaaa~! Ittai yo!!_", Uruha yelled out loudly.

It seemed that he was being bullied by other kids when he played in the park. There were four kids surrounding him and of course, bullied him. "His scream is just like a girl!", said one of them as he pulled a handful of Uruha's hair hardly. The others were just laughing over him.

"_Ittai_, stop it!", Uruha begged, he tried to get rid of the hand that seized his hair.

"Hahahaha. Look, he's crying! He's really a girl!! His body is small and even his hair looks like a girl!", they mocked Uruha.

"Let me go! Why you all so cruel to me? What have I done to you all!?", Uruha asked, he almost lost his voice because he kept yelling all the time. "_Urusai~!_ We only want to know whether you're a girl or a boy!! Come on guys, open his shirt and check on him, then let him go home naked!!", they replied, then laughing.

Three of them grabbed both of Uruha's hands and legs tightly, meanwhile the last one tried to unbutton Uruha's shirt. "_Yamette kudasai~!!_", Uruha screamed, he wasn't be able to fight them back, they were too many and he ran out of his strength by screaming continuously.

Unfortunately, there were no adults that happened to passing by, they were too busy of their works and because Uruha and that annoying kids were still in the first grade so they could go home earlier. Uruha could only cry. At that time, Reita came to the park and saw them accidentally.

He quickly registered what was happening, someone was bullied! And that was_-what little Reita had assumed-_the girl whom he liked!! He ran towards them immediately and trying to stop those, four kids from bullying Uruha.

"_Kimitachi~! Yamero!!_", Reita shouted as he pulled the one that unbuttoning Uruha's shirt. "_Nani o shimasuka!?_ You intruder!!", the boy shouted. "It's you all the intruders!!", Reita shouted back. He tried hardly to free Uruha.

"_Yamette!_ You will get hurt too!!", Uruha said.

"What are you talking about? I'll help you, no matter what!!", Reita responded.

Uruha couldn't reply him, it was his very first time felt so happy because there was someone who cared about him besides his parents. He was just hoping that Reita was truly caring about him, not because of his parents' richness. Reita tried so hard to help Uruha, he got pushed until he landed hard on the ground, but he didn't care and stood back.

After some moment, he could finally beat them all, even though his body was full of bruise. Those four kids were running away, left the panting Reita and crying Uruha. The little Reita was very strong and brave, he didn't cry. Even Uruha was the one who cried, because he saw Reita was hit without mercy.

"Hey, don't cry…", Reita said, his voice sounded not so good.

"How can I not cry!? You got these bruises because of me!!", Uruha answered between his sobs, he then rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand. "_Daijoubu yo ne~"_, Reita made Uruha sure that he was o.k.

"Besides, I'm happy to be able to help a cute girl as you are…", he added, showed his grin. Uruha just silent. A girl? This boy thought that Uruha was a GIRL!? (**Author**: Did you not see that he was wearing short pants and shirt, Reita? Lol. XD) For God's sake, this was the thousandth time Uruha heard stuff like that. He took a deep breath and exhaled it slowly, then told Reita the truth.

"_Anou, gomen ne,_ but you're misunderstanding me as a girl. _Watashi wa otoko desu_", he said as he tried to smile.

Reita made a (0_0) face, it seemed he got quite shocked knowing that the girl whom he liked was actually a boy. Very cute boy! Luckily, he didn't faint after heard that. "Oh, so you're a boy? Are you for real??", Reita questioned curiously. Uruha sighed. "Of course!", he pouted.

"Okay. Okay. By the way, I'm Suzuki Akira. First grader in Kanagawa Elementary School. _Yoroshiku_", Reita replied as he offered his hand. Uruha quickly gave his hand and shook Reita's hand. "I'm Takashima Kouyou. We both in the same grade and school! But different class, I think. _Yoroshiku_", he said softly.

"_Eto_, Thanks for saving me, Suzuki-kun…", he added.

_~End of Flashback~_

Reita couldn't deny that Uruha was his first love, by mistake of course. He just didn't notice that Uruha was a boy. For the first time, when the break time came, he found his gaze at Uruha who was looking at the soccer field from the window.

The other days, he was just staring at him from far and thought of how cute Uruha was. His smiles were so beautiful. Reita had never seen a girl as pretty as he was.

His heart pound harder every time he gazed at Uruha, but he didn't have the courage to at least ask his name. He used to think that Uruha was just a tomboy girl, who always wore short pants and shirt, but the fact was… he was indeed a BOY. Although Reita felt a bit disappointed, but he decided to be friend and protect him. Became his guardian that always stayed by his side, even until they entered Senior High School.

Reita became more uncontrollable. The mix of disappointment, sad, confusion, annoyance, guiltiness, angriness inside him, making him had gone crazy. It was as if he wanted to dig a hole, jump into it, and die. Bury himself in the ground.

At that time, Ruki was passing by the park. Moreover, he saw Reita accidentally, kneeled down. "Huh? Is that Reita-kun??", he questioned as if there was someone else beside him. He realized that Reita wasn't wearing anything to keep him dry, so he quickly approached him.

"Reita-kun!", he shouted.

When he reached Reita's spot, he leaned his body closer to Reita. "What are you doing here without rain coat or umbrella? And what are you kneeling for??", Ruki asked, he panted slightly. Reita seemed didn't care about his question, he kept silent. Ruki then shook Reita's body a little, trying to make him answer. Finally, Reita turned his head to him, but there was emptiness in his black eyes.

That was completely blank, like if he saw nothing. Ruki started to panic; he didn't know why Reita became like that. He shook Reita's body harder, meant to wake him up. "Reita-kun! Reita-kun!! What happened?", he shouted but not so loud.

After trying so hard, he felt that Reita responded. A smile appeared on Ruki's lips, he sighed in satisfaction. Reita opened his mouth a bit and said a word. "Uruha…", he murmured and Ruki could hardly hear that, because of sound of the rain.

"_Nani?_ What did you say, Reita-kun??", Ruki wanted to get a clarification. However, Reita then did something unexpected. He pulled Ruki's head and kissed him on the lips. Ruki's eyes opened widely in surprise.

He quickly pushed Reita's body away the moment Reita slid his tongue into his mouth, but a string of saliva was still connecting them, the shorter man then covered his mouth with his one hand. He stepped back. After got pushed by Ruki, Reita realized that he had done something. In addition, it must be something wrong.

He turned his head to Ruki's direction; he saw Ruki was staring at him with that feared look in his eyes. Even his hands were trembling slightly. "Ruki-kun… what have I done to you? _Gomen na~_", Reita said softly. Ruki gulped hardly, "You… kissed me. And you said something before, like someone's name", he answered.

Reita tried to remember what he had said before, and when he already remembered it, his eyes widened in surprise. He mentioned Uruha's name, but the worst was; he mistook Ruki as him! And so, he kissed him. However, why did he want to kiss Uruha?

_What did I do? Am I starting to love Uruha-chan??_ Reita confusedly asked to himself. He thought hard.

He stood up. "Again, _hontou ni gomennasai_ Ruki-kun. I didn't mean to do that to you…", he apologized as he bowed his body deeply. "I just want to ask you one question. Why did you kiss me?", Ruki responded. Reita wrinkled his eyebrows; he needed to find the best answer.

"Uhm, that was because…", Reita wasn't be able to continue his answer as he felt Ruki staring at him with that hopeful look on his eyes. Reita didn't understand why Ruki had those looks on his eyes. "Reita-kun…", Ruki said. Reita stared at him quickly, but it was like he didn't really pay attention on Ruki. His mind was flying somewhere far away.

_Am I not normal? Have I become… gay??_ He kept repeating those words in his mind.

After some moment, Reita gave the answer. "Because I like you", he said. Ruki was surprised at Reita's sudden answer. "Huh? You… like me??", his mouth a bit opened. Reita then covered his forehead with his palm; he didn't know what he had said to Ruki. Why he said that? "Uh, _Gomen_. I feel that I got a headache. I'm going home now. _Jaa na!_", Reita said to Ruki while he turned back and then run away, as fast as he could. Leaving the stunned Ruki behind.

"He said that he like me? Was that a confession?? I'm not mistaken, right?", Ruki mumbled to himself, he then went home.

_~The week after~_

"Yawn, it's already morning…", Reita yawned as he stretched both his hands up. He then rolled off from his bed. After took a shower and he approached his wardrobe, searching some nice outfit because that was his first day to work. He finally wore a long-handed white shirt and a fine black trouser. Very tidy than he usually was.

He went downstairs immediately, joined to have breakfast with his mother and older brother, Kai. "_Ohayou_, Rei-kun", Kai greeted. "_Ohayou_, Kai-niichan", Reita greeted back. "_Ohayou, okaa-san_", he also said to his mother.

"Say Akira, how about your job? You're starting work today, am I right?", his mother asked as she gave Reita a bowl of rice. Reita only nodded, he grabbed the chopstick on the table. "Well, wish you all the best, my brother", Kai smiled. "_Sankyuu~_", Reita replied as he smiling too, he then started to eat. "By the way, I didn't see Shima-kun come here lately. Did you two have a fight?", his mother changed the subject, making Reita choked.

"Woops! Be careful, Rei-kun", Kai said, he patted Reita's back gently a few times. "I'm okay, Kai-niichan. *cough* _Gomen_, I didn't eat my food right", Reita trying not to be suspicious. His mother raised her eyebrow, "Akira, tell me the truth. Were you and Shima-kun having a fight?".

Kai was staring at his brother; he wanted to know the answer too. Reita gulped hardly, a sweat dropped. "Err, well, we're just fine. It's just he didn't have enough time to visit us. _Okaa-san_ knows that his parents are super rich, right? So he maybe has to take control of his family's business", Reita explained, he finally found the possible answer.

It seemed that his mother and brother believed in his words, so they continued eating. Reita bit his lips, deep in his heart, he felt a bit guilty because he lied to them, but he couldn't spill the real reason. That was so hard for him. He wanted to keep it as a secret. Only he and Uruha knew it, well, Aoi too.

Reita arrived at his work place. That was the same place as Ruki. They worked together, in one building. Luckily, he wasn't work with Aoi as well, so he didn't have to meet him everyday. When he made his way to his desk, he met Ruki. "Reita-kun, there's something I want to tell you. Do you have a time after work?", Ruki asked.

Reita needed some time to think. "Okay. Where?", he replied. "It's up to you. Just text me later", Ruki answered, he then walked to his desk after Reita nodded. Reita tried his best to finish his task; it wasn't so much for his first day, besides he had a very smart brain, so could finish it earlier than the others. He waited for Ruki.

After Ruki finished his task, he approached Reita immediately. "Where are we going to, Reita-kun?", he asked. "Just follow me. I have a favourite place…", Reita replied as he started to walk outside the building. "Don't worry; we can reach it by foot. The place is around here", he added. Ruki only nodded as he followed Reita.

That place was nothing but the café, where he used to meet with Aoi every time they were hanging out together. The café where he left Uuha to Aoi and it turned to be a nightmare for their relationship.

That was around 6 p.m. when Reita and Ruki reached the café. They entered it and Ruki was the one who chose the seats. He chose to sit on the corner, so everyone wouldn't overhear what they were going to talk. Fortunately, that day the café wasn't as crowded as usual.

Ruki ordered drinks, of course, they were beers. He treated Reita, because he was the first one who invited Reita. "So, what are you going to say to me?", Reita began their conversation.

"………", Ruki's face was starting to blush pink. Reita stared at Ruki and he thought that Ruki was a bit… cute that way. But, why did he blush? "Before I say it, I want to ask you first…", Ruki answered. "Sure. You can ask me anything…", Reita replied in plain expression.

"Err, are you serious with your words a week ago?", Ruki shot. Reita wrinkled his eyebrows, "Oh, that…", before Reita had a chance to answer, Ruki cut him. "Because if you weren't serious that time, I might cancel to say what I'm going to tell you". Reita felt curious about what Ruki had been hiding from him, and he wasn't going to end their conversation just like this.

"Yeah, I'm serious…", he finally answered. Ruki bit his lips, "_Sou ka…_", he mumbled. "So, tell me what you are going to say!", Reita seemed interested. Ruki gulped hardly before he made a decision to answer it. "I'm not going to say this twice, so you must listen to me carefully, okay?". Ruki warned him and Reita nodded. "…_Boku wa kimi ga suki da yo_", Ruki let out a sigh, he felt satisfied to be able to tell his feeling to Reita, the one he liked.

This time, Reita blushed pink. He massaged his neck and gulped, he didn't know what to reply at Ruki's words just now. He forced a smile, but still looked handsome in Ruki's sight. "Well, how about if we go out together?", Ruki suddenly asked, making Reita became more confused because he didn't have enough time to think.

Logically, someone would have said _'yes'_ at a time like this, in case he or she truly liked the person who confessed to him or her. When they were in love, there was no reason to refuse. What were Reita waiting for? He could just say _'yes, I want to go out with you'_, that was in Ruki's mind at least. Reita's turned to another side, he needed to think clearly before answering.

When he thought of the best answer that he should give to Ruki, his gaze then accidentally landed on someone familiar, entering the café, with another person beside him. They were walking together to the bar-counter and sat there. Reita's eyes followed their movements, he really was sure that it was Uruha, and his lover, Aoi. Yes, Reita was right, it was they.

**~End of Chapter 3~**

**Note: **I'm sorry for the long hiatus… m(_ _)m

I was preparing for my final exam week. Phew, it was so hard…

Btw, I finally added Kai to this story. Hha. XD

Comment will be much appreciated. Sankyuu~


	4. Chapter 4

**Title: **To Love You Painfully (4/??)

**Author: **Kawaii Nachan

**Rating: **NC-17

**Genre: **Romance, angst, SMUT

**Warnings: **Male x Male relationship, super bad English.

**Pairing(s): **Aoi x Uruha, Reita x Ruki

**Band(s):** the GazettE

**Disclaimer: **Oh well, I've locked them in the cage unfortunately I don't own those beautiful boys, just the story... (TT w TT) *sob... sob...*

**Summary: **Uruha confessed his feeling to Reita, his childhood friend, on their graduation day. In the other side, there was Aoi who interested in Uruha. What was Reita's answer? And how about Aoi?

**Chapter 4**

Reita was staring at them when Uruha finally noticed him, but Aoi didn't. Ruki then felt a bit annoyed because Reita didn't pay attention on his question. He turned his head to see what Reita had been staring at. He narrowed his eyes to get a clearer view. He saw two men sitting in front of the bar-counter. He thought that they were a couple, a gay couple, of course.

He stared at the honey-blond-haired man; he was so beautiful and sexy. Then at the black-haired man who sat next to that blonde, he was handsome. It made them a perfect couple. However, Ruki then realized that the honey-blond was gazing at Reita, and so did Reita. He was staring at him.

Ruki asked to himself if Reita was interested in that blonde, so he stared at him for so long and abandoned him, who was sitting right in front of him. And they even in the middle of an important conversation!

Ruki pouted, he traced his hand on Reita's left cheek and pushed it to the right. Making Reita turn his head back to his direction. "I'm the one who talking here. So you have to see just me", he said. Reita realized it and then apologized. "_Gomen na~_", was his only answer.

He decided to go out with Ruki and forget about Uruha. It was clear to him that Uruha was happy with Aoi by his side, so Uruha might be doesn't need Reita anymore to protect him.

Reita then grabbed Ruki's right hand gently, "Yes. I'll go out with you…", he said as he kissed Ruki's fingers, so lovingly. Ruki blushed so red this time. His smile was so wide as if he was showing all of his feeling off. Uruha saw it. He saw everything.

Aoi realized that Uruha was stunned over something; he followed where Uruha's eyes had been watching at and it ended at Reita. "What a coincidence", he murmured. Nevertheless, he didn't care about Reita's presence and just continued to drink. He felt that if he told Uruha to stop looking at Reita, Uruha might be doing it half-heartedly, so he preferred to let him do whatever he wants.

"I'm a bit tired now, maybe because today is our first workday. Let's go home", Reita asked to Ruki and he got the answer by seeing Ruki nod. They stood up and walked to the entrance. Before they completely left the café, Reita once took a quick glance on Uruha, but he didn't expect that their eyes would meet again.

It meant Uruha still looked at him, even with Aoi sitting beside him; he was still paying attention on Reita! There was something strange and Reita couldn't tell the meaning behind that look in Uruha's eyes. Reita and Ruki stepped out of that place and went straight home by _Shinkansen_.

_~At home~_

"Phew, what an exhausting day…", Reita sighed, he threw his body onto his single-sized bed.

Even though Reita felt tired, but he couldn't close his eyes. There was something kept flowing in his mind. And he couldn't just throw it away. _What does it mean… the look in his eyes…_ _he was like unhappy or more likely, hurt…?_ _Didn't he already become Aoi-kun's lover?_ He thought as he looked at his bedroom ceiling. It sounded Reita was thinking about his best friend, well, his ex-best friend, Uruha.

Few minutes later, he heard his room's door was being knocked. He turned his head to see the door and shouted, "Come in". It was Kai who knocked at his door. "Hi Rei-kun. How was your first workday?", Kai said as he approached Reita who was laying on the bed.

"Hmm, not bad. I quite enjoyed it", Reita answered, looked at his brother.

"_Oh sou..._", was Kai's only respond, he sat on the edge of Reita's bed.

"By the way, is Uruha-kun's house still there? I haven't visited him, yet, since I back here a week ago…", he added.

"………", his younger brother didn't answer.

"Rei-kun?", Kai patted Reita's shoulder.

"Yeah, his house is still there", Reita finally spoke.

Kai raised an eyebrow, "_Eto_, may I ask you something?", he said.

"Sure~", Reita responded.

Kai inhaled a deep breath, "You're having a fight with Uruha-kun, right?", he questioned, seemed very curious.

"…I already told you and _okaa-san_ this morning. We're just fine!", Reita raised his voice a bit. "That's none of your business, anyway…", he added.

Kai was shocked hearing Reita's words, but he couldn't do anything. "Okay, you're right. This is none of my business, but I just want to make you remember something important. Whatever your problem with Uruha-chan, please end it. Because you two used to be good friends, don't break it with just this!", Kai said as he stood up then walked to the door. "I hope you think of it well… _Oyasumi~_", he added before opened the door and went off. Reita heard it very clear; he then covered his whole face with his two hands.

"How I wish I can do that now…", he said in a shaky voice.

_~At Aoi's place~_

Uruha sat on the couch, he curled his legs up. He pressed his legs closer to his chest as he buried his pretty face to his knees. Tears rolled down from his eyes, wetting his smooth cheek. He recalled the thing he had seen this afternoon. That was Reita and that other guy. Uruha was sure that the guy with Reita before was his lover.

_Didn't he say that he was straight? But the fact… he has a boyfriend! Is it like Aoi-kun said that time? Reita only pity on me because he had rejected me, the truth is he did that because he doesn't want to see me again! And after I have Aoi-kun, he really doesn't care about me anymore. It's like I'm only a burden for him… _Uruha thought.

"Are you thinking of him?", Aoi asked, he showed a worried face to Uruha. His lover quickly wiped his tears off and turned his head to Aoi, which was just coming back from the kitchen, bringing him a tin of soft drink. "No, I'm not…", Uruha answered.

"Don't lie to me; I know that you still love him. And it makes me really sad. It's like I'm not worth enough for you", Aoi said as he put the tea on the table and then sat beside him. Uruha changed his position as he stood up to sit on Aoi's lap and held him, he felt very guilty.

"No, please don't say that! You're my most important person now…", he tightened his embrace. "_Hontou?_", Aoi wasn't sure. Uruha only nodded to him. Aoi then caressed Uruha's hair softly and kissed his forehead. "Okay, what will you do to prove it?", he was beyond excited.

"Anything you want…", Uruha whispered on his ears, with such a deep lustful tone. Aoi pulled his head and kissed him. He opened his mouth as Aoi began to lick his lower lips, waiting for his acceptance to slide his tongue in. Aoi shoved his tongue into his wet cavern.

They were swallowing each other's saliva passionately. Uruha circled his arms around Aoi's neck, deepening their kiss. Aoi stood up and dragged Uruha to the bed without breaking the kiss. Because Aoi lived alone, so he just had a one-room apartment. They sat on the bed. Aoi's hands embraced Uruha tightly, as if he didn't want to let go of him even a single minute.

After what it seemed about twenty minutes, they broke their hot kiss, parted their lips. Aoi could tell that Uruha's sexy lips a bit swollen; he did bite it during their kiss. "Now, you have to strip in front of me…", he became hornier. Uruha then stood up and started pulling his t-shirt up, revealing his sexy white body.

Aoi gulped at the sight, he then watched Uruha slowly undoes his jeans and unzip it, after that he tugged down his slender legs, leaving only his underwear. Aoi took a deep breath and then exhaled it slowly. He didn't believe that Uruha would truly do it.

"Now, the next…", Uruha licked his lips.

He opened his underwear slowly and put that thing on the floor, he was fully naked now, Aoi could see his immaculate white thighs and his half-erect manhood. Uruha then walked approaching Aoi. He touched Aoi's hardened member through the fabric, he massaged it harder. Aoi groaned lustfully.

"So, it's your turn now", Uruha murmured. "Okay", Aoi answered. He stood up too. "I'll help you", Uruha said. He helped Aoi to unbutton his shirt and after it was done, he threw that thing somewhere behind him. He continued with Aoi's jeans, he trailed kisses along Aoi's body, from his neck down to his flat lower stomach.

Once he got the button, he undid it, and then kneeled. Opened the zipper using his teeth. Aoi smirked, he tugged his until his calf of legs. "Open my underwear with your mouth too…", he said. Uruha obeyed him, he bit the fabric using his lips, making Aoi become harder as Uruha's soft, red lips slightly brushed his erection that appeared in front of Uruha's face now.

Uruha then kissed and licked its tip, which was leaking the precum. His one hand grabbed it and began stroking. Aoi stopped the blonde by lifted its chin. "Save it for later, I want your _other mouth_ now…". Uruha understood what the taller man meant.

Aoi searched for a good spot on the bed and after he found it, he laid his body on it. Uruha approached him, he kneeled. "Here Uru-chan, ride me. I want to see it", Aoi said as he pulled Uruha's hand, placing him above his body. "Be sure to take it all in", Aoi whispered lustfully, making Uruha blush. Uruha stood with his knees wrapped around Aoi's hips.

The blonde-haired boy prepared himself, using his saliva to make his entrance slippery. He slid one finger inside and began to thrust. "Ah! Aahh!", his lustful moans filled the room. It just made Aoi harder; his fingers joined with Uruha's. He even thrust two fingers at once. Uruha gasped as he felt Aoi's fingers inside him. He slid out his own finger.

"Why did you take out your finger?", Aoi questioned. "Nnhh… I can't take three fingers at once… it hurts! Aahh!!", Uruha replied, he was almost crying. "_Nee~_ Uru-chan, you know that I'm bigger than three fingers, right…?", Aoi said while he kept scissoring Uruha's insides.

After he thought that Uruha was stretched enough, he pulled his fingers out. "I want to move inside you…", Aoi said and Uruha gulped as his hand grabbed Aoi's aching member and guided it slowly to his hole, placed it ready to enter.

Aoi eagerly gripped Uruha's slim waist and then pushed it down to himself, making his lover whimpered in pain loudly. He saw Uruha swallowing every inches of his hard penis with his tight hole. "It's going in. Ohh…", Aoi moaned. After it had entered him all the way in, Uruha started to move his hips up and down.

_What a breath-taking view. The view from this angle is very nice…_ Aoi thought.

He moved his hands to reach Uruha's hardened nipples. He pinched it gently and Uruha shuddered a bit. Uruha rested both of his palms onto Aoi's chest as he kept bucking his ass against Aoi, even faster. "Nnghh… ahh…", he was riding Aoi with inhumanly speed, both of them were groaning lustfully.

"Aahh… Aoi-nhh…!", Uruha moaned painfully. A single tear appeared on the corner of his eye, he bit his lips. Aoi realized it. "Is it really that hurt? If you don't want to do this, it would be better to stop…":, he said softly. Uruha opened his teary eyes slowly; he then looked at his lover beneath him. "…I'm okay. Let's continue…", he whispered. "No. I don't want to", Aoi's answer made Uruha a little surprised. "Huh? But… I'm sure that you're so close to cum now", he replied. "Well, I can finish it in the bathroom", Aoi answered.

Uruha stared at Aoi. Slow but sure, he nodded to him. "_Gomen ne~_", that was the only words that fell past Uruha's lips. Aoi pulled out of him and walked to the bathroom. Uruha was just sitting on the bed; his whole body trembled as he started to cry again. This painful love was too much for him to hold out. If only he knew the truth now…

_I know it. You are still thinking of him…_ _How lucky that Reita-kun, to have such a beauty loves him so much!_ Aoi thought when he secretly saw Uruha crying.

_~Two days later~_

Kai went out of his house, he just finished his college study two weeks ago and he back to his mother and brother. But now, he had nothing to do. He felt a bit bored at home since Reita already went to work, as usual; he really wanted to work as Reita did. Unfortunately, he hadn't gotten the job, yet. That day was so nice, so he decided to take a walk outside.

"Such a wonderful day…", he said as he looked at the sky.

He walked slowly, enjoying the view. He missed it so much, because when he was in the college, he had been living with his grandmother, far away from his house. It was about two years long. He had no time to visit his mother and brother, his task as a _daigakusei_ was very hard. He spent his time mostly at library.

Suddenly, he got an idea. "Hmm, I will go to Uruha-kun's house… I miss him too!", Kai said to himself as he tried to remember the way to go there. Uruha must be at home, because it took a month waiting for the acceptance from the university. After twenty minutes_-it took longer time than Reita did because Kai got lost few times-_, he finally arrived at Uruha's house.

"I hope he's here…", Kai pushed the bell. Not long after, someone walked out of the house. And it was Uruha. What a great coincidence. "Hi Uruha-kun", he greeted when he saw Uruha sticking his head out to see who was coming. Uruha quieted for some moment, it seemed he tried to remember Kai. "Ah! Kai-kun!! Is that you?", he asked. Kai nodded. "Come in!", Uruha said happily.

"Wow, it has been a long time since the last time we met", Kai said, sitting on the couch with Uruha. "Uh-huh. It's a surprise to see you now… I miss you!", Uruha smiled. "Me either…", Kai responded. "You know, I got lost when I was searching for your house… funny!", he added. "You got lost? Oh My God, Kai-kun…", Uruha laughed hearing that. Kai soon followed him laughing.

"By the way, what do you want to drink?", Uruha offered. "Tea is the best", Kai answered. "Okay. Wait here…", Uruha said as he rose from the couch and then went off to the kitchen. Kai looked around Uruha's living room, it was so huge. But he felt something else, something different. There was no warm feeling inside, it was like it just Uruha living here. There was lonely aura surrounding.

Kai could feel what Uruha feels; he must be feeling so lonely because his parents were super busy. They were always leaving Uruha since he was a little boy, with the house cleaners when they went outside the country, for business trips, of course. That must be the reason why the little Uruha always spent his time with his brother, almost everyday.

Now that they were having fight, Uruha seemed a bit lonely. "Kai-kun, here's the tea", Uruha said as he put two cups of tea on the table. "_Arigatou_", Kai responded. "Uruha-kun, where's the maids? I didn't see them around…", he added. "Oh, they're having holiday now. I see that they worked hard, so I want to give them some days off", Uruha explained. "You're so kind…", Kai complimented.

Uruha blushed pink. "Eh? It's nothing", he said, bowing his head a little to hide his blushing face. Kai chuckled at Uruha's attitude. He then looked at every details of Uruha's figure. He was so pretty, might be cute. More different that the old days, he had become… what was the right word… adorable?

_What am I thinking about? I'm a guy, he's a guy too! Come on, Kai… stop thinking of that weird thing!!_ Kai thought.

"Uruha-kun, have you met Rei-kun lately?". Kai shot. Uruha didn't answer. The same reaction as Reita. "Yes. I met him two day ago…", Uruha answered nervously. "_Sou ka…_". Kai thought that Uruha's reaction a bit different that his brother. If Reita seemed a bit annoyed, then Uruha seemed a bit sad. Even though he told Kai lies, but his eyes couldn't lie, it obviously showed that Uruha feel lonely without Reita beside him. Kai wondered what had happened between these two pals.

"Well, let's talk about your college time. I want to know. It must be an interesting story!", Uruha tried to change the subject. "Oh, okay…", Kai said. They were chatting for about three hours. "_Eto_, Uruha-kun, I think I'll be going home now. Thanks for your time and I'm sorry if I had disturbed you…", Kai said, walking to the door. "It's okay. I'm happy to have you visiting my house… It made my day", Uruha smiled as he accompanied Kai until his front gate.

_~At night, after dinner~_

Kai walked approaching his brother, who was sitting on his bed, he didn't close his door, so Kai decided to come in. "Rei-kun…", he called out. Reita turned his head to Kai. "Niichan, what's wrong?", he responded in a low voice. Kai sat next to him, with few inches gap. "This afternoon, I went to Uruha-kun's house", he started their conversation. Reita only hummed. "He seems kind of lonely…", Kai continued. "…Niichan, what are you trying to imply exactly?", Reita asked, he raised his voice.

"Okay, okay. I think he misses you so much"

"So?"

"Eh?"

"What do you want me to do, niichan?"

"You should have realized it yourself… go and see him!"

"What about if I don't want to?"

"Rei-kun, you~"

"It's my problem; you don't have to interfere…"

"I know. I know. But…"

"What?"

"But he loves you, right?"

"………………"

"Rei-kun, you know it, don't you?

"…I don't know!"

"Can't you tell from the way he looks at you?"

"…I never realize it."

"Do you think he see you just as a friend?"

"………………"

"Or did you pretend not to care about it?"

"ENOUGH! DON'T YOU EVER TALK ABOUT HIM ANYMORE!!"

"I hate to say this, but you're really a cruel person, Rei-kun…"

After said that, Kai went out of his brother's room. He felt really disappointed at Reita. How come he couldn't realize Uruha's feeling towards him!? Meanwhile, Reita just stared blankly at nowhere. He walked to his bed and then sat. He regretted about what he had said just now. He didn't mean to say that. He couldn't forget about Uruha, he couldn't stop thinking of him. He realized that he was now desperately in love with him. But, everything was too late for him…

**~End of Chapter 4~**

**Note: **What do you think of this chapter?

Should I make more chapter for this story??

Comment will be much appreciated. Sankyuu~~


	5. Chapter 5

**Title : **To Love YouPainfully(5/?)

**Author : **Kawaii Nachan

**Rating : **NC-17

**Genre : **Romance, angst, SMUT

**Warnings : **Male x Male relationship, super bad English.

**Pairing(s) : **Aoi x Uruha, Reita x Ruki

**Band(s) :** the GazettE

**Disclaimer : **Oh well, I've locked them in the cage unfortunately I don't own those beautiful boys, just the story... (TT w TT) *sob... sob...*

**Summary : **Uruha confessed his feeling to Reita, his childhood friend, on their graduation day. In the other side, there was Aoi who interested in Uruha. What was Reita's answer? And how about Aoi?

**Chapter 5**

Reita laid his back on his bed, sighing desperately, he felt extremely tired of work all day long. Plus his brother's words about Uruha kept bothering his already fucked-up mind. That couldn't have become even worse! He just asked to himself what the best thing he should do to solve that problem of his. Should he ask a help to his brother or discuss it with him? But that was just the same like he admitted that what Kai said earlier was completely true. He soon would have gone crazy if those things had kept coming to him, like a nightmare. Slowly, as the moon rose higher in the night sky, he fell asleep in silent and unsolved problems.

_~In the morning~_

"_Ohayou_, Okaa-san… Niichan…" Reita greeted them at the dining room, though that was like half-heartedly done. Well, he really wanted to take a day off, but he just couldn't do that, since he was still new in the office. "_Ohayou._" they replied altogether, smiling. Reita approached his chair, pulled it, and sat immediately. Although it was still early in the morning, his face looked not so good. He seemed tired, certainly due to lack of sleeping last night. His mother easily noticed that, "_Daijoubu ka_, Akira?" she asked worriedly as she gave her son a bowl of rice. Reita only nodded, giving a forced smile and receiving the bowl. Soon, they started eating.

While eating, Kai stared at his brother intensely; he knew the reason why Reita had that condition and not-so-happy look on his face. He even wondered if what he had said to Reita was wrong, but he couldn't take it back. He thought that Reita, sooner or later, would have to realize his own feeling. Not long after having finished his breakfast, Reita went to work. "_Itte kimasu._" he said as he closed the door after hearing his mother say '_Itterasshai_'. Reita didn't know what had gotten into him, all he knew was he could only think of Uruha right now. The harder he tried to forget him; his love for him grew bigger as well. What a pain…

His life passed day after day, but nothing particular happened. His relationship with Uruha wasn't getting even better. He never contacted him so far and there was no signal from the other man about doing so. Reita could only continue his boring daily activities. Truthfully, he was just lying to himself, pretending to himself that he was okay with that circumstance he had been living in lately. "Don't lie to yourself, Rei-kun." his brother spoke to him. Reita only glanced nonchalantly at him and walked away. It wasn't like avoiding Kai-or the reality-but more to he didn't know how to end the problem. He thought that Uruha hated him and of course, didn't want to see him anymore. What was he supposed to do? He had no clue at all at that time.

Without him paying much attention, that was already June 9th. He clearly remembered that today was Uruha's birthday. Every year, he used to come to Uruha's house and sleepover there on that date. He would bring a small tart cake and eat it together, for Uruha's parents were almost never at home even when it was for their only son's birthday. Uruha could only celebrate it with them until he was ten years old and the rest he had it celebrated with Reita. Only two of them. His parents thought that the ten years old Uruha was mature enough as not to celebrate his birthday, so the next years they would just go on business trip. They only sent him a postcard saying "_Tanjoubi omedetou_! With love, _otousan_ and _okaasan_." They didn't know how Uruha felt; how Uruha missed their presence. At those times, it was always Reita and only that could make him happy and feel warm.

"Rei-kun? What are you thinking about?" Ruki patted his lover's shoulder as soon as he noticed Reita staring blankly at something across the café at which they had been spending an hour to drink coffee after work. "Eh? No-nothing…" Reita distracted his gaze from that place and turned his head to Ruki's face. The shorter man immediately knew that there was something hidden by Reita. And it kind of bugged him. "But you keep spacing out and looking at that cake shop, what's wrong?" He narrowed his eyes, trying to penetrate into Reita's mind to find the real answer. Reita bit his lower lip and averted his eyes from Ruki's, as if he was really hiding something. It was like a secret that nobody would know but Reita himself and it only made Ruki become much more curious. "Rei-kun?" Ruki tilted his head to better view Reita's face, which looked a bit confused.

"I think I want to buy a cake." Reita finally let his voice out, looking back at the surprised Ruki.

That was already late night and Uruha was still alone at his house, sitting on one of four wooden chairs at his dining room. All his house cleaners already went to sleep. He had been waiting for Aoi's arrival for about two hours, but said man hadn't shown up yet. Well, Aoi had said that he would be late since he had so much works to do at the office and probably ended up working overtime, but Uruha didn't expect him to be _that_ late. Less than three hours left and it wouldn't be his birthday anymore. Somehow, he felt a bit sleepy, certainly due to his much activity at campus, and decided to rest his head over his bent arms on the table. He had given Aoi his house key, so he didn't really need to open the door for him.

_I miss him very much, I really want to see him… isn't he going to see me?_ Though Uruha had his eyes closed, but he couldn't stop asking those questions to himself. He was fully aware that the one whom he meant by _he_ wasn't Aoi, his lover. Not long after, he seemed to fall asleep cautiously.

"I. Bought. It." Reita then hissed heavily to himself, hating the fact that he had just bought a box of cake. Well, he didn't mean to buy that in the first place, he just didn't know why he suddenly couldn't suppress the urge to purchase that strawberry-decorated cake. It was like the cake begged on him to be bought; of course that was just Reita's imagination. After taking Ruki home and having lied to him that the cake was for his sweets-loving mother and older brother, his own feet now slowly led him to another place. And he knew that place very well. The Takashima's residence, or more correctly, _Uruha_'s house.

"Why did I come here, anyway?" He questioned himself and got more confused a second later, since he couldn't get the answer. He was standing by the front of Uruha's house gate, doing nothing but looking at the door bell like an idiot. Should I press the bell? That was exactly what was on his mind at that moment. He swallowed hard as his trembling hand tried to reach the bell, but it seemed that the bell was getting any farther by the time the tip of his finger was about to press its surface and so he couldn't press it. "For God's Sake! Why it was very hard to just press a bell?" He cursed under his breath, exhaling the air annoyedly. The lamp was still on, so he could tell that Uruha hadn't gone sleep yet.

_God, what should I do? _Reita thought as he frowned. He then looked at the medium-sized cake box in his hand for some minutes before finally coming up with a conclusion. _Okay, I've decided..._ He closed his eyes to recheck that he made the right choice.

"…Happy birthday, Uru-chan."

Uruha opened his eyes after he had heard someone wishing him a happy birthday and hopefully he wasn't dreaming. For a second, he did hear a familiar voice from someone he knew. He immediately turned his head to that voice owner, but much to his disappointment, it was his lover. Aoi wasn't someone whom he had expected would say it to him first. After all those years they had spent together, that night was the first time Reita didn't wish him a happy birthday. Not even a phone call. Though the one he really wanted to hear it from was Reita, but he knew that he wouldn't hear those words come out of Reita's mouth again. He didn't even think that he could meet Reita ever again if it wasn't for coincidence. That night sure became the saddest night for him.

_Have you already forgotten my birthday, Reita-kun? _Uruha thought when he was staring at Aoi's figure.

How could he mistake Aoi's voice for Reita's? He must be missing that childhood friend of his so damn much he couldn't even differentiate Reita's voice from his own lover's. "Eh? _Doushite_, Uru-chan? Why are you crying?" Aoi realized tears slowly forming on the corners of Uruha's eyes and quickly neared him. He bent his body down and cupped Uruha's cheeks by both of his palms. "Uru-chan?" He called worriedly. Uruha didn't answer; his tears were now falling freely from his beautiful eyes, wetting his own cheeks and Aoi's palms. Aoi focused his gaze on the younger man; he really didn't have any idea of Uruha's sudden change of expression.

"Aoi-kun, please say it again…" Uruha spoke so lowly Aoi had a bit difficulty to hear that. He wrinkled his eyebrows as he thought of what Uruha meant by _it_. He finally got a picture, though he was still a bit unsure of that. "Happy birthday, Uru-chan…" He repeated those words, hoping that Uruha would become happy after hearing that. But the truth wasn't the same as he had wished it to be. Uruha's eyes kept watering and even worse, he started sobbing. Aoi didn't know what to do, he was confused. "Aoi-kun, sorry. But I think I just want to go sleep. I'm really sorry." Uruha said as he wiped off his tears and soon realized that he was being so selfish to just leave Aoi, who actually didn't know anything and just arrived there some minutes ago. He stood up and walked passing his lover, but Aoi caught his wrist softly, preventing him from going. Uruha turned his face to Aoi, looking at him in case Aoi wanted to say something, or maybe slap him. Much to his surprise, the raven-haired man slowly pulled Uruha to get closer to him and finally hugged him.

"Don't say anything. Just cry if you want."

Having heard that, Uruha then fully accepted Aoi's embrace. He himself thought that it was silly to feel weak just because Reita didn't wish him a happy birthday. That was merely a sentence for crying out loud! Nonetheless, he just couldn't resist his tears and he really didn't care if Aoi would think of him as a crybaby and shameful to be in that kind of state. He knew he shouldn't take it to heart too much since he was a man, but he felt the pain slowly killing him and he couldn't hold it back any longer. Aoi stroked Uruha's hair gently while the honey-blond kept hugging him tightly and buried his face into his chest. Aoi didn't even say a single word; he was just silent as he patiently listened to his lover's miserable cries.

_~The following day~_

"Akira, now that I remember it, you didn't go to Shima-kun's house last night?" Reita's mother asked as she saw her son walk downstairs. Reita looked at his mother's face; he wanted to tell his mother that he actually came to Uruha's house, but didn't, or maybe, _couldn't_ meet him. "Why should I?" Out of nowhere, that question crossed his mind and he said that. "Eh? Wasn't yesterday his birthday?" his mother furrowed eyebrows, trying to clearly remember Uruha's birthdate. "Yeah, I know. But it's not like I have to come to his house every year, right? I mean, we've already grown up, so it doesn't really matter whether he celebrates it alone or together." Reita explained, taking his seat and ready to have breakfast. His mother hummed, and Kai, who had been sitting on his chair since the beginning, only shook his head at his brother's lines. He thought that Reita was still as stubborn as not to admit his own feeling. Shortly after that, Reita left for work.

"Rei..." Ruki let out a whisper. "Can you come to my apartment after work?" he added. Reita, who was washing his hand on the wastage, turned his head to his lover. He stared right into Ruki's eyes and somehow, he could see the lust within those black orbs. He averted his eyes and looked back at his reflection in the mirror. "Umm, I guess yes." he simply answered, not wanting to ask why, since he had already known the reason. Well, they had been going out for about two months and it was only natural if Ruki wanted to do something further than they had already done. So far, they had done only kisses. "Glad to hear that." Ruki replied with a wide smile on his face, he then exited the restroom.

Finally, work time had ended. Reita and Ruki quickly left the office and then got in _Shinkansen_. Just twenty minutes later, they were already at Ruki's apartment. After making sure that the door was perfectly locked, they went straight to Ruki's neat bedroom, hands holding on each other's backs, kissing hungrily. Ruki was the one who took the initiative of doing that. At first, Reita only replied back lazily, but as Ruki went further he also felt himself getting hard. Somehow, they managed to take their shirts off without breaking the kiss. "Mmhh… Rei~" Ruki moaned in their kiss, hands clutching on Reita's firm shoulder. They were already on the bed; Reita was on top of him, now showering his exposed neck with kisses.

Reita sucked hard on his lover's neck, leaving some hickeys, before going back to see his face. "Ru-chan, to tell you the truth, I've never done it with a man before… so, I don't really understand how it works exactly." Reita said bluntly with flushed face. Upon hearing that, Ruki couldn't hold back his chuckle. "Don't worry, Rei-kun… I'll teach you everything, from A to Z." he grinned mischievously while threading Reita's blond hair gently with his fingers.

"So tired~" Uruha yawned as he stretched both his hands up. He was strolling on his way to home; he refused driving his car or asking to be driven by the chauffer. It was healthier to walk, he thought, and luckily his campus wasn't too far away from his house. He just got back there, later than usual since he got to do some assignments with his study group at the library. There were fifty meters more and he would arrive at his house front gate. Out of blue, he recalled the old times when he and Reita often went home together from school, for they had always been in the same school, from elementary to senior high. He felt sad at knowing the fact that he rarely saw Reita nowadays. How had he been? Did he take care of his health well? After all, feelings couldn't be denied, he missed Reita. **Really missed him**. "Uru-chan!" He gasped as he heard someone calling his name, and this time he wouldn't get the wrong answer, that was Aoi's voice.

Uruha turned his body around to face Aoi, who was still wearing a white shirt and a little bit loosened tie, "Aoi-kun? You don't work overtime again?" He asked with raised eyebrow. Aoi neared him slowly, a wide smile being spread across his face. "No, I already finished my works yesterday, so today I can go home on time. And I bought this for you!" Aoi lifted his hand and showed Uruha two small boxes of Takoyaki, which was one of the honey-blond's favourite foods! That situation kind of reminded him of something. Reita used to buy Takoyaki too when they were walking home, and then he would share it with Uruha, so they ate it together. Not wanting to make Aoi confused, since he had been staring blankly at the Takoyaki, Uruha grinned cheerfully and clapped his hands, "Thanks Re-I mean, Aoi-kun! I really like this!" He quickly bit his lower lip, not too hard, though, being afraid Aoi might notice that he had almost said the wrong name. Nevertheless, Aoi seemed to act normal as if nothing out of place, so he erased his worries. "Let's eat it at home, then." He said, and then began walking again.

"…I'm not Reita, you know that." Aoi whispered, though he knew that Uruha wouldn't hear him for even he himself could hardly hear that. He then followed his pretty lover, going to his house.

_If it is Uruha-chan above me now, if it is him who rides me, I wonder how he moans… how he cries… how he moves his body to feel me inside him… how he begs me for more… what face will he make? Really, it drives me insane just from imagining those kinds of things!_ Reita spaced out while he was having sex with Ruki.

"Hahh! Aaahh! Re-Rei-kunhh…" Ruki cried in pleasure, tears rolling down from the corner of his tightly-shut eyes. His rather loud crying slapped Reita back to reality and he thought that he couldn't handle it much longer. Only few thrusts more and he would reach his limit. Ruki opened his eyes and leaned his body down to capture Reita's lips by his own, his one hand supporting his body weight meanwhile the other stroked himself, and Reita caressed his thighs lovingly as they did an open-mouthed kiss hotly. "Aaahh! Reitaahh!" Ruki broke the kiss spontaneously when he was cumming hard. He closed his eyes tightly he could see stars behind his eyelids. He felt a pure ecstasy being sent through his body and spilled his seed on his palm and Reita's stomach. After riding out his orgasm, he then landed his exhausted body on top of Reita's chest, breathlessly.

It was not long for Reita to come as well. However, his mind was already flying away again, he could only think of Uruha at that moment. He himself didn't understand why he thought of Ruki as Uruha. Because, apparently, he didn't treat Ruki only as replacement for Uruha, he was serious on considering him as his lover. But for unknown reason, Uruha's figure just didn't want to disappear from his sight. He couldn't shake it off no matter how hard he had tried. Soon with a loud, long groan, he came inside of his lover. Ruki's scream escaped from his throat as he felt Reita's hot cum filling his inside. "Aaargh! Uruha-chan...!" without realizing it, Reita called out that name when he was blowing out his whole load.

Ruki froze into a statue, not caring about the warm feeling inside him. "Uruha? Who's Uruha?" he made an angry face, raising his pitch to the level of almost a yell. Reita was finally realizing that he had done something wrong; an absolutely wrong move; calling out Uruha's name when he reached his climax with Ruki! That was the worst mistake that he had ever done in his life. He cursed his annoying-self for thinking of Uruha while he was fucking Ruki. And for God's sake, that was their first time! It would have been a good memory for both of them, if only Reita hadn't ruined it. "I-I'm sorry, Ru-chan…" he apologized as he pulled out quickly.

"Answer me! Who's that Uruha?" Ruki was still mad at him, of course. "Erm, he is…" the truth was Reita didn't want to tell Ruki about him, but well, it seemed that he _ought_ to tell him. He didn't want it to turn even worse. "He is my – my childhood friend..." he answered nervously. "Eeh? Your childhood friend!" Ruki's eyes widened in surprise. Reita nodded slowly. "But, why did you call out his name? He's merely a childhood friend, right?" Ruki asked, giving Reita his deadly, investigating glare. "I'm sorry. I didn't know why I suddenly called his name out. Sorry, Ru-chan…" Reita pleaded and then gulped hard. Ruki only snorted, "You know that you've done a big mistake, Rei-kun! Now I understand why you looked like in somewhere else when we were having sex!" he added.

"…..….." Reita only remained silent hearing that. He couldn't talk back to Ruki since his lover's sentence was right. Really, this thought of Uruha was beginning to drive him insane. Just how long could he endure his feeling for Uruha?

**~End of Chapter 5~**

**Note : **Finally, I could finish this chapter… Sorry, I took soooooooooooo long!

I understand if you already forget the previous chapters and I really am very sorry about that! I didn't intend to do that, really!

It was kinda hard for me because I was stuck of idea. *bows deeply*

Comment will be much appreciated. Sankyuu~~

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